Unrolling the secrets behind a tangled ball of yarn...
You might remember we sent you an email in September announcing that we would be taking a sabbatical from performing our original music in concert. Some of that was an expanded schedule with grandchildren, but to be honest, the decision ran much deeper than that. After all these years, I was still plagued by a gnawing question.
Do I do this "music thing" because I want to
or because my father made me start as part of his unrealized dreams?"
It's a very tangled ball of yarn to unwind because my father, the man who bought me my first guitar, was also my abuser. So these long months, I have just waited and continued to ask the question as a journey to health and wholeness. Here's what I discovered.
As part of a songwriting group, I was given unrelated words from which to create a song. One of them was "Secret". As you can imagine that became the theme of my work. Many people know of my history, but there was a part of me that had never dealt with the emotional landscape. Writing it and recording it was one huge knot removed. When I walked in the studio, I didn't even know the tune, so I just recorded it as it "fell out."
Then I began to try and remember the little girl who fell in love with music and used it as a language from an early age. That little five year old listened to Classical composers in her room on an old record player until the grooves were worn out. That little girl composed symphonies in her head complete with all the parts. And that little girl dreamed of conducting orchestras. She was who I am now (minus the orchestras). Another tangle undone.
So my abuser did not "push me into music" - he bought me a guitar and gave me a love of words and I began to write songs to process the world he had damaged. Fifty years after that first purchase on my behalf, it is what I am still doing.
So all of that to say that a few days ago, I walked into our kitchen, looked my hubby in the eye, and said,
"I am ready to play music again."
So we are going to celebrate coming back into the composing that started fifty years ago by playing at our favorite Soulfood Coffeehouse in Redmond on May 25th from 7-9 p.m. I am not sure if I will perform the song "Secret." Perhaps you could take a listen and honestly let me know if it needs to played out or if it was for my own personal growth to understand my own "me,too" moment. As a writer, I know some of my songs are just for me, so I am curious if this painful little piece resonates with you.
Thank you so much for your patience with us and your support of us over the years. Thanks for being part of our journey with all its twists and turns. And, as always, if something here has caused a question to emerge or a thought you want to share, feel free to write back. I am an open book, and you are an integral part of my life and of our lives.
Peace and love,
We were so excited to be recognized in this year's UK Songwriting Competition. This is the first year I entered a collaboration with a poet and friend of mine, which ended up as a finalist in the folk category. Another exciting piece was getting to collaborate with a lyricist from the U.K. who was also a finalist. This across the pond effort brought much joy to us both. I will post this piece soon!
2018 U.K. SONGWRITING COMPETITION
Finalist/Folk - "Drifting" Collaboration with George Henriksen
Semi-Finalist/Folk - "Turn In To Me" Collaboration with Kim Castelo
Semi-Finalist/Folk- "Baby, Won't You Dance with Me
Semi-Finalist/Folk- "Stone and Wood"
Semi-Finalist/Folk - "It Matters"
Semi-Finalist/Folk- "Speak to Me in London"
Posted on Facebook: Karen Weed March 27 at 2:24 PM · Ok...I can’t keep my excitement in anymore, a lyric I wrote a few years ago for my nanna and my great grandmother Rampiry from Assam is in the process of becoming a song thanks to Assamese producer Jim Ankan Deka and USA vocalist/musician Char Seawell ...dreams do come true 😁🙏
Synchronicity: A lyricist in England is named a finalist in the UK Songwriting Competition and posts a note on the site seeking collaborators. Having just been named a finalist on another collaboration, I contact her and we create a song together. Now it is in the hands of a producer in India from the same home town that inspired the lyrics. With the addition of some Assam musicians and vocalists, we now have a three continent project. It truly is a small world.